a divine balance

in elementary school there was a phase when the "your momma" jokes were the rage. i still remember some of them...

yo momma is so stupid, she returned a doughnut because it had a hole in it.

and

yo momma is so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

i remember kids would bash other kids' moms and fights would break out. it didn't matter if it were in the lunchroom, the classroom, or the bathroom. i saw fights all over the place. one kid would get offended because another kid would bash his mom.

of course, as was usually the case, the kid telling the joke had never actually seen the mother of the other kid, so in truth he had no idea whether the mom was really that stupid or that fat, but still the offense was made, and the fight broke out.

i never understood why kids got so offended. it seems to me, if someone makes fun of my mom, the only reason i might get offended is if i give some credibility to what they are saying. another example, if someone called me fat, it'd be ridiculous for me to get offended because i am the exact opposite of fat. in fact, i can't gain weight. it's crazy. so i'd give no credibility to their comment...hence no offense. in fact, i'd probably laugh at them.

now put that in the light of seeking other people's approval, whether it be a girl you like, or a boss, or a bully at school. in his book, the life you've always wanted, john ortberg makes a brilliant statement (i think, at least). he says, in regards to other peoples' comments about us, "it is not another person's compliment or approval that makes us feel good; rather, it is our belief that there is validity to the compliment."

he tells the story of walking into a mental health center. "One woman there used to tell me regularly that she wanted to marry me because she could not stop thinking about my body. She was heavily medicated, had lived in the facility for twenty years, and would say the same thing to every other member of the staff. On her less lucid days she would say the same thing to plants and inanimate objects. It was an outrageous compliment...but it did nothing to enhance my sense of value as a person." He goes on to conclude, "We are not the passive victims of other people's opinions. Their opinions are powerless until we validate them. No one's approval will affect us unless we grant it credibility and status. The same holds true for disapproval."

in my opinion, this becomes utterly important in light of our identity in Christ. insults and compliments will mean nothing unless i give them weight. they will neither tear me down, nor boost my ego if i understand who Christ says i am.

and who does Christ say i am? well, i am valuable enough for Him to die for me, and sinful enough that every inclination of my heart is all evil all the time. when i hear an insult, i am anchored in the reality that my value to God is unmeasurable. when i hear a compliment, i am anchored in the reality that my corruption is to a level incomprehensible. so i should walk with confidence, not in my self, but in Christ, unphased by the opinions of others because He has given me this balance.